Americans With No Abilitys Act

I cant take credit for authoring this - it came to me as an "author unknown" email (thanks for the forward, Bob).

"AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT" PASSES CONGRESS
May 23, 2005

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress approved sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into law by President John Kerry shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Kerry, a longtime AWNAA supporter.

"This is why many of them voted for me. We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing," said Kerry.

President Kerry pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 80 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons of Inability. Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include fast food restaurants (72%), retail sales (68%), the airline industry (58%), and home improvement "warehouse" stores (54%).

President Kerry has also set an example, personally selecting hundreds of Nonabled people for top government positions, including many cabinet-level jobs. Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance. Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in top positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?" and "Are you awake?"

"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job skills. "This new law should really help people like me.

"With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Said Kerry, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation."

FarenHype 9/11

Just a moment to post a link to "FarenHype 9/11" a new DVD being released in October, 2004.
Click on the link below to see a list of the documented (and not forged) errors and misleading information contained in Moore's "documentary."

Link

Suspicious

suspicious
adj1: openly distrustful and unwilling to confide
[syn: leery, mistrustful, untrusting, wary]
2: not as expected; "there was something fishy about the accident"; "up to some funny business"; "some definitely queer goings-on"; "a shady deal"; "her motives were suspect";"suspicious behavior"
[syn: fishy, funny, queer, shady, suspect]

I find the CBS Bush Documents report suspicious. I find it suspicious:

that Dan Rather will not discuss how they got the story in the first place.

that the author of the documents is conveniently deceased.

that the widow and son of the author of the documents both think some or all of the papers are fraudulent.

that other forensic experts cited by mainstream media outlets that think the documents are fraudulent are being ignored.

that the "story" comes to light now, not 4 years ago.

that according to experts, the number 4 is printed in Times New Roman, a font exclusive to modern computer word processing programs.

that the daughter of former Texas Lt. Gov. Ben Barnes says her father fabricated claims made on "60 Minutes II".

that Ben Barnes was not even lieutenant governor when Bush entered the National Guard in 1968, as the story claims.

that Ben Barnes is a big Kerry fund-raiser and he is currently writing a book.

that Dan Rather will not use other experts because "...I don't know what their political motivations might be."

that Dan Rather has never interviewed a member of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.

that the source of the questionable documents is unknown.

that this was reported as a news item and not subject to the new campaign finance reform laws.

Kerry is Hazardous Waste

My, my, isn’t this interesting? Michigan’s Governor Jennifer Granholm complained to Michigan senators Levin and Stabenow (both Democrats) about all the trash that finds its way from Canada to Michigan landfills. So Levin and Stabenow passed the complaints on to John Kerry (just before he arrived here on a campaign stop…). Which led Kerry to say "George W. Bush has let Michigan become Canada's landfill."

Kerry also said "It's time to end Canadian trash dumping in Michigan." What he (and Granholm and Levin and Stabenow) conveniently forgot to tell us is that Michigan and Canada have both signed a contract that governs this, and that Michigan receives payments from Canada for all the trash they send to us. Kerry also forgot to tell us that Michigan also sells landfill space for trash from other states in the U.S.! Oh, they also forgot to tell us that the contracts that govern all of this were reviewed and approved by the EPA. And that legislators from the State of Michigan were also involved in setting this up (follow the money, John…).

In an angry response, Canada’s Councillor Jane Pitfield, chair of Toronto's powerful works committee called Kerry's statement "irresponsible and designed to garner votes," and accused him of damaging relations before he was even elected. (While, at the same time, Kerry continues to accuse Bush of damaging U.S. relationships with foreign governments.)

Next thing we’re going to hear from Kerry is that the hurricanes that hit Florida are George Bush’s fault.

GOD to Florida: Vote Republican in 2004

Dateline: Heaven;
In a message heard nationwide, God proclaimed his support for George W. Bush last week. While it wasn't exactly fire and brimstone, the "breath of God" with windspeeds exceeding 74mph and nicknamed hurricane Frances by man, was accompanied by heavy rains reminiscent of the days of Noah.
Hardest hit were Democrat counties while Republican majority counties were mainly untouched.
God was not reachable for comment but a spokesman for the Deity said that the "lessons" could continue if "my children are forgetful and cast the wrong vote this November."